The response was overwhelming and I want to share it.
While the first post was of very negative nature, this is a very positive post instead.
So here are some of the responses I got to my original post. And thanks for everyone who wrote me about this. I can't describe how much it meant to me!
"thinking and pondering ,doubt and wondering and thinking and reflecting all that on the past ,, especially alone …this you can continue forever,, and ever and ever,,, so good thing you just write that down,,,
Its almost impossible to change the past,, as long you can give it a acceptable place now and then….and Sure , i think you actually really have been into moments where energy atmospheres made you feel like,,, does anybody actually care for the music itself or is it just going berzerk full on ,,, but you will never know how many people their minds you really actually did make fly to the moon and back on your music or music you played,,,
And the amount of knowledge experience and interest and good will you have to make this whole thing worth doing it ,, because people like you !
You are a F*cking Legend mate,
And i don't say this for cheering you up,,, but fuck it , i hope it cheers you up
Because
You Are A Fucking Legend!!
Look to all you have done!!!
Its okay to be a little proud of that,,, even IF nobody seems to give a shit,, Fuck it!!
Your a hardcore piece of history amigo!!!"
"Your sound and philosophy are unique Sönke! D’t doubt a Second about it!!! Most artists and promoters from today have short time success. You are a true legend. Underground lovers sure want to ear and know more about you!"
"I can relate with your thoughts and everything about pondering and other "what if I did this or that". It is sometimes hard to deal with, but it is also a necessary evil that we can't avoid if we want to go ahead and heal. About your music and other artistic creations, I would second [what has been said]: you're definitely a legend in Hardcore! I mean, every serious and passionate Hardcore head out there knows your music and have heard it played somewhere. Sure, you'll always find people who don't know you as an artist, people who don't like or even hate your music, but just keeping to the Hardcore scene followers, i'm pretty confident most people have a really positive opinion and appreciation of your music. And i'm definitely one of them. Of course, I haven't listened all of your tracks (because you have produced so many) and some of them didn't grow on me or weren't my thing but most of the time, when I listen to your music, I enjoy it, A LOT! You have your own sound signature, you can create great atmosphere. And when i say great, i mean really great. There are so many tracks and melodies you've created that actually blow my mind, give me goosebumps, make me travel through indefinable state of mind (100% without any drug)! Really, man, you can be proud of what you have achieved so far. Anytime I see you name on a vinyl release, I buy on sight (and believe me, I don't do this for many artists). I own almost every piece on vinyl with tracks from you on them (and the other ones are on the wantlist). And personally, I would be more than happy to meet you in real life, having some beers and listening / talking about music for hours. I don't know if I would get the opportunity to travel to Hamburg one day, but if I do, I'd definitely try to get in touch with you. About attending to party, and playing live in front of people, I can perfectly understand this can cause some heavy anxiety. As a bedroom DJ, I feel the same. I love djing and playing records at home but i'm really uncomfortable with spinning in front of people, even in a small party or in a pub without almost anybody caring about it. What's more important, in my opinion, is doing your thing the way you think it's better for you. There's no NEED to play in front of huge floors to be considered as an artist. The only need is to create, to express ourselves, to leave an imprint in any way before leaving this crazy world for good. And you have achieved that in a brilliant manner, Sönke Moehl. And i'm pretty confident you will keep on that way for our listening pleasure. More acidic and melodic Doomcore / Hardcore please mate, because i'm "really into this space stuff"! Peace."
"you may have more fans than you think...your productions through the years inspired many and still inspire us today.. your labels are supporting so much other artist to have exposure and spread the movement ...the only thing missing are promotors organising doomcore events ..it will be cool to attend gigs organised by your labels or affiliates ...you could find easily people to help but yes for sure all your followers would love to meet you and hear you play live which could also bring you some new wave of enjoyment to tour ..anyway thanks to share yourself trough your sound with us..we are all appreciating it very much ...take care"
"It's normal to be insecure about this stuff, but you need to stop believing thoughts that makes you feel bad about yourself. Just because you believe this bullshit, doesn't mean it's true. A belief is just a thought you keep thinking so better try hard to think different thoughts. To do this, we need other people, friends, therapy, reading books about this topic, watching personal growth podcasts. It's an ongoing process and more success or validation from other people about your music or yourself will only help for a bit, like counting facebook likes or drugs or cigarettes. You need to try and learn to feel good about yourself first and foremost. Most of us don't hate other people, I hate that the news wants us to believe this cuz fear sells better than love. It's good that you share your feelings, I hope you find a way to change."
"You are a true artist, I love your music, I totally identify with this thought process, and I have to tell you, being intelligent and creative is kind of a curse in a world who has established exploitation, competition and cruelty as the dominant behavior.
Artists are a reflective mirror of this world.
And this world has gotten uglier and uglier with time.
Our music (hardcore/speedcore/doom core/techno) is an extreme reflection of this and brings to the listener the feeling of this extreme chaos, with a cathartic way to express it through dance.
There is a revolutionary feeling of indignation at the center of our music.
The anger it contains and expresses is normal and healthy to me.
And I would love to see you play in a gig in France, cause you are a member of the pioneer of this genre, and people who love it, have a lot of respect for those who opened the way.
Keep your head up you are a legend in the game, and still rocking"
"I like you Sönke you tell it as it is. And music is music, your creation and ideas in acoustical format. Who cares of the on lookers they might be shy passive active aggressive or just weird, it’s out there and only this matters"
"Respect to you soenke."
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